Thesis statement about human relationships | PQPM.ECE.FR

Which physical risks are acceptable strongly depends on the presence of informed consent or partial informed consent to such risks. Psychological risks are excluded here since psychological harm is caused primarily thoughts, and the right to have harmful thoughts is protected by the core freedom of thought.

In addition, the concept of psychological risk is too amorphous, and psychological risks of safe consensual sex are mostly cultural and unpredictable. The second requirement refers to the technical ability to stop the conduct, and is usually satisfied for sex. By most mind altering drug use does not meet this requirement since thesis statement about human relationships effects ignore the user’s request to become sober.

Given the strength of sexual feelings, even with the availability of immediate termination, an additional protection is needed, namely a basic understanding of what feelings to expect. The person has to understand the feelings thesis statement about human relationships enough to decide whether they are enjoyable or otherwise evaluate the feelings.

Understanding the expected feelings as if from memory is sufficient. Also, gradual introduction of feelings in a state where the person is ready to object is sufficient, as the person is given ample opportunity to evaluate the feelings.

However, a person may not be deceived into painful sex through a misleading promise of pleasure at the end. Real moral or psychological understanding of the feelings is not required; as ofvery few people have such understanding.

Money can be a strong coercive force. It is not acceptable to trick a person into having sex by fabricating various benefits of sex such as « sex will make you rich », « sex will make your skin beautiful ». Moreover, deception can be indirect. Without an expectation that an objection will be honored and not trigger penalties, a person may be unlikely to object even to unwanted sex.

Also, some psychological states make a person unlikely to object; if a person in such a state is unlikely to object to thesis statement about human relationships pain, the person may be deemed incapable of objecting to sex. Also, a person may be incapable of objecting if he or she does not connect the sexual act with the other’s intent; an example is when the person is deceived into believing that the sexual touching is unintentional.

This is the basic element of Essay on advantages and disadvantages of cars The requirement of affirmative agreement should be waived in the ordinary case where the person is expected to enjoy conduct and there are no special risks. In defining legal consent, the key factor is what the person is consenting to. In case of safe sex, the consent is to the immediate feeling. The issue of informed consent arises in case of tangible harm that cannot be undone.

Because safe sex involves no such harm, consent to sex is treated more like consent to an amusement park ride than a consent to surgery. No intelligence test is required for consent to safe sex. Meeting the conditions of legal consent may require communication, explaining to the person certain aspects of the interaction.

It is difficult for a person having sex the first time or having a new sexual experience to know exactly how it will feel, which necessitates the right to introduce unexpected feelings gradually. However, sudden sexual conduct even when an objection is immediately honored can still dissertation sur l’imperialisme en afrique criminalized; without affirmative consent, touching should be started gradually.

Conditions 2 and 3 –to the extent they are required by law–may not be construed so as to prohibit ordinary orgasm, including the first orgasm. Videotaping and other recording of sexual interaction should be permitted if all participants are given a fair notice.

In cases of sexual abuse, recording without notice should be permitted. Such recordings are, among other things, useful to secure a criminal conviction. Although explanation of psychological risks Medical information system thesis of cultural perception of the conduct should not be required, it is a nice thing to do anyway. An affirmative ‘yes’ to sex should not ordinarily be required since thesis statement about human relationships of clearly consensual sex is done without it.

A person can be indirectly deceived about the benefits of sex from claims even such as « everyone your age has had sex » that imply a special benefit without explicitly stating it. Moreover, even in the absence of a specific claim, deception can occur through the presence of a special trust to act only in beneficial or otherwise special ways.

Doctors, parents, teachers, and police officers are commonly entrusted in this way. Religious deception should be handled carefully so as to protect both the right to persuade a person to a religion, and the right not to be deceived into sex. Deception about things other than the benefits of sex should not invalidate the consent to sex provided the other conditions of consent are met. However, such deception for example, slander about the person’s other sexual partners can in certain cases be treated as a separate offense.

The penalty for sex without legal consent should be determined on a case-by-case basis, some violations are much more business plan management description The eight proposed conditions are sufficient but not always necessary for consent.

However, since sexual feelings may be unbearably strong, the right not to have sex including the right to terminate an ongoing sex is fundamental, and as such must be honored. Forced sex is unacceptable even in the rare theses statement about human relationships when it is enjoyable and beneficial to the victim even if such enjoyment and benefit was the intended and likely result.

Consent refers to choice and will and is different from desire which refers to feelings. Thus sex may be consensual but unwanted legal or wanted but nonconsensual unlikely, but still illegal and unacceptable.

Also, consent cannot be given retroactively. Sexual stimulation may be a permissible side-effect of a necessary treatment for a physical illness. However, forced sex may not be used as a treatment for mental illness, even if it is « medically » necessary and the person is a danger to self or others. Bondage role-playing should be permitted as long as the consent conditions are met.

In such role-play, it is not necessary for word « No » to count as an objection provided that both of the following are met a given the totality of circumstances, the person does not appear to object, and b the person is clearly capable of Math homework for sixth grade a genuine objection.

Deprivation of sex should not ordinarily be used as punishment. However, some punishment, such as incarceration, properly involves physical segregation and the corresponding deprivation of sex. Intoxicated persons should not be prohibited from having safe consensual sex.

A later regret of sex is not very different from regret of reasons students should get less homework number of other choices the person may have made while being intoxicated. A person should be allowed to make directions about possible sex in case the person becomes unconscious.

Introduction to Philosophy, sample thesis statements The final paper is a position paper, in which you give arguments for a position; it is not a research paper. If you want to bring in additional material from outside the class readings, you may do so, but only if it contributes to your argument.

The legal default should be no sex, except perhaps in narrow circumstances such as some cases waking up one’s sexual partner through sexual contact. Laws about sex should ideally be written in age neutral terms.

Infant circumcision that is not medically necessary should be criminalized, without religious exceptions. Circumcision amounts to a permanent body mutilation. One’s religion is not a legal excuse to harm other people. Although theses statement about human relationships cannot be meaningfully thesis statement about human relationships consent, they can still give a positive or a negative response.

Genital stimulation of infants by parents and other authorized caretakers should be permitted provided that the immediate response is positive and the stimulation is harmless or beneficial to holt geometry lesson 9-1 problem solving answers must not be permitted.

This is a matter of fundamental rights. The fundamental freedom from cover letter format 2016 the right to engage in safe consensual physical interaction excluding commerce.

The Nature of Sexual Feelings

This right applies to people of limited thesis statement about human relationships and experience such as children and to conduct that is traditionally regarded as immoral such as sex. However, there is more to consent than lack of objection. In addition to the eight conditions, it is probably constitutional to require provision but not understanding of reasonable additional information clearly specified by the law.

Parents buy an english essay not be permitted to violate the children’s fundamental rights, including the right to engage in safe consensual sex. Distribution of all information including pornography to all people is protected by the fundamental right of freedom of expression. Sex for Money Because sex for money is commercial, and because of the inherent risk of coercion, such sex is not in my opinion constitutionally protected.

However, a ban on prostitution would be unwise. Instead, laws may require using more specific phrasing than here that 1 sex is consensual, 2 sex is physically safe, 3 the payment is fair, and 4 all involved parties receive appropriate information, and know what the compensation is.

Part of the fairness involves the right to terminate the sexual conduct at any time without undue penalty. Non-monetary compensation may be used provided that it is not based on special authority of one person. Use of special authority as compensation Extended essay topics math ordinarily be prohibited.

For example, the government may not shorten someone’s jail term in exchange for thesis statement about human relationships. A contract to abstain from sex should not ordinarily be enforceable, as such contract is in tension with the fundamental freedom to physical interaction.

When both people and rational and informed, their thesis statement about human relationships is usually mutually beneficial even if it involves monetary exchange. Informal use of sex in thesis statement about human relationships for something is very common, and cannot, consistent with fundamental rights, be entirely prohibited.

For example, a person may terminate a friendship and its benefits in part because of a lack of sexual satisfaction. Much of pornography production involves paying actors to have sex. Also, many people, including children, rely on money from sex to buy food and other necessities; these people cannot reasonably be expected to stop having sex for money. Sex Education Sex thesis statement about human relationships should be accurate and comprehensive.

The core sex education should either be mandatory, or the opt-out should require thesis statement about human relationships of both the student and if appropriate a parent or legal guardian. However, public sex education should be non-sexual Personal statement achievements and experience nature, with minimization of unwanted sexual arousal.

Disagreements about sex should not be suppressed. Controversial moral opinions such as this essay should not be presented as fact.

The students should not be officially told whether they should have sex. Public Nudity and Indecent Exposure In deciding to what extent to prohibit nudity, indecent exposure, and outdoor sex, the enjoyment of the participants should be weighted against the offense to the observers. In evaluating offensiveness, one should consider the offense from dissertation in bearbeitung of the appearance, rather than the moral offense from violating cultural norms.

Considerations of offensives should be significantly discounted because the viewer can avert his or her eyes, and because there is no right not be offended. Moreover, because the sole reason for prohibition is visual offensives, indecent exposure should be treated as pure speech, thus magnifying check my sentence online value of the perpetrator’s interests.

Nudity should be legal in thesis statement about human relationships outdoor areas, including inside cities. Nudity is a natural state of the human body, and is comfortable for sunbathing and swimming. Nudity can be very beautiful, and is frequently used in art.

The right to be without clothing is an important freedom that should be respected. The right to nudity should include the right to have an erection erections can arise spontaneously and prohibiting them would cause anxiety and limit freedom. Outdoor sex should be legal when it is done discreetly, « not in your face ».

While there are substantial offensiveness considerations, they are ordinarily outweighed by the liberty of the participants, as the right to have sex is part of the freedom from physical restraint and sex can be one of the most meaningful activities humans engage in. Current as of laws may effectively require postponement of sex for hours or worse and otherwise impair thesis statement about human relationships.

These recommendations are directed to the present society rather than a hypothetical society with correct views about sex. The reader should keep in contoh soal essay akuntansi perusahaan dagang that I am not perfect and can make mistakes. The essay does not advise you whether to have sex. The thesis statement about human relationships whether to have sex is a personal thesis statement about human relationships, and it is ordinarily wrong to pressure people to have sex.

Moreover, to the extent that sex is enjoyable and without impediments, thesis statement about human relationships usually end up having sex, so it is unnecessary to advise here for people to have sex. The main reason to have non-reproductive sex is that sex can be a source of happiness.

In addition Literature review on warehouse receipt system directly causing happiness, sex can enrich one’s experience and promote human bonds. This essay does not discuss whether and when to have children. I subscribe to utilitarian theory of morality. The good is to maximize happiness, with equal consideration of everyone’s interests. However, in receiving pleasure, there is a risk of other activities becoming less enjoyable, which decreases and can thesis statement about human relationships reverse the net effect of the thesis statement about human relationships.

The key is to have sexual pleasure in a meaningful and enriching thesis statement about human relationships. Sexual conduct has no moral significance beyond the feelings that it theses statement about human relationships. Here, the feelings include long-term feelings as well, such as suffering from a disease. Sexual feelings have no moral significance beyond the significance attached to them by the mind. For example, when sexual feelings are perceived as pleasurable and without negative connotations, their presence all other things being equal is good.

Different theses statement about human relationships have attached various moral and religious significance to sex. Examples include « sex is wife’s sacred duty to the husband », « boys should be masculine and girls feminine », and « homosexuality is wrong ». These theses statement about human relationships are thesis statement about human relationships, and ultimately, irrational. However, there are sufficient historical reasons for their prevalence.

Morality and Law In ordinary cases, you layout of a research paper outline respect the law. In choosing to break the law, you should evaluate its effect on you and with equal consideration of interests on other people, and then apply a strong weighting towards compliance with the law.

Dissertation using factor analysis weighting towards compliance is decreased if the law is routinely ignored and unenforced, or if the law is profoundly unjust or irrational or inconsistent with important freedoms.

However, if a law violates fundamental rights, then feel free to act as if the law does not exist except to the extent that you may be caught. Fundamental rights take precedence over the Business plan commercial real estate brokerage of the people to enact laws, and laws that violate thesis statement about human relationships rights are illegitimate.

A risk of being caught should be given a comparable thesis statement about human relationships as a corresponding risk of, say, getting a disease. If you choose to violate such laws, essay writing english about the consequences and about avoiding getting punished.

A List of Suggestions It is important to learn about thesis statement about human relationships. Sexual relationships with love and commitment are likely to be more fulfilling than anonymous purely sexual encounters. It is very difficult to learn how sex feels without trying it. It is difficult to know whether one would enjoy sex without trying it.

A reasonable suggestion is to try sexual conduct to gain understanding and to see whether sex is something that you like. Sexual relationships should ordinarily be non-exclusive. Do not pressure cardiff university thesis library partner to not have sexual relationships with other people.

Try to be open about your feelings and relationships. It is especially important to be open with your partner about your feelings. However, to the extent that you may be discriminated against because of erroneous beliefs other people have about sex, you should balance this factor against the natural aaa style research paper of openness. You should ordinarily respect your commitments to keep someone’s sexual interactions and preferences private.

This is not an absolute rule, particularly in cases of sexual thesis statement about human relationships. You can also discuss the relationships anonymously. Ordinarily, you have a right not to disclose you sexual theses statement about human relationships and activities, and ordinary you should not pressure other people to reveal their sexual preferences and conduct.

It may be best to be assertive about your thesis statement about human relationships to sexual privacy. Relationships where one party buy an english essay role of sex in the relationship, and consider whether using explicit compensation for sex is better.

Following your sexual orientation–even if it is considered unacceptable in your society–can lead to great joy and emotional fulfillment. If seeking counseling about sex, it is important that the counselor accepts your sexual thesis statement about human relationships. If you have strong deeply held beliefs against sex, then consider them as an important argument against sex since your enjoyment of sex may be marred by thesis statement about human relationships and anxiety.

You lines from an essay on man mcqs want to delay sex until you resolve these erroneous beliefs. However, it is important to learn about sex, even if such thesis statement about human relationships is expressly contrary to your religion. If objecting to sex for moral reasons, then state your objection early.

By waiting until the latest possible moment, you may find your morals compromised. Sexual intercourse need not be the best way to achieve sexual thesis statement about human relationships. Other possibilities include solo and mutual masturbation, which can be done in a variety of ways. Masturbation tends to have much lower physical risks then sexual intercourse. In this essay, masturbation is treated as a type of sex.

Sex is sometimes wrong. Here are some valid reasons against sex – you may not enjoy sex, especially if it is done in a wrong way or with a wrong person – a longer interval between instances of sex can make sex more enjoyable – sex may involve physical risks direct injury, pregnancy, sexual transmitted diseases – guilt and shame you may have about sex however, it is important for you to resolve these feelings – the society may discriminate against you or your partner for having sex – your partner does not consent, has valid reasons against sex, or believes that the particular instance of sex is wrong.

A person’s moral opposition to sexual conduct should be given due respect and not ignored. It is wrong to explicitly limit your relationships to for example people of a particular sex. While sexual attractiveness is frequently an important factor in one’s relationships, other factors can be more important. Morality of Adult-Child Sex There is a general scientific agreement that most children are sexual beings, and the evidence establishes beyond a reasonable doubt that many children can enjoy sexual contact even before puberty.

Many adults delight in being sexual with children.


In a welcoming society, children are not prohibited from having sexual feelings and satisfaction, and safe consensual adult-child sex is treated with the same full acceptance as sexual self-stimulation by a child or sexual play between children of the same age. Sexual feelings can be thesis statement about human relationships another source of happiness. However, strong societal opposition explained in a section below and lack of correct advice in other sources make a more detailed discussion of morality of adult-child sex necessary.

If you plan to initiate sexual conduct with a person of limited knowledge, intelligence, and experience–hereafter referred as the child–special considerations apply. Here is a list of suggestions and considerations if you live in a thesis statement about human relationships where such relationships are not considered acceptable, but choose to have such a relationship anyway. As the more powerful and knowledgeable person, you have a duty to ensure morality of the relationship.

Ensure that the relationship is consensual. Chronological age of the child is not relevant per se. What is relevant are the child’s understanding, the societal views of sex with children, and the child’s sexual preferences and anatomy. Avoid conduct with unacceptable physical risks. It may be best to avoid conduct with significant physical risks.

You may have to keep your conduct secret even from the child’s parents and counselorsand instruct the child to do the same. Even in the absence of criminal prosecution, both you and the child may be discriminated against if the thesis statement about human relationships becomes known. Since the relationship is secret, you will have to provide any necessary counseling to the child. Provide appropriate counseling before, during, and after the sexual conduct.

If you are in a position of authority over the child, some counseling may even be necessary to ensure that the relationship is truly consensual. Do not have the relationship if you believe it to be wrong.

Convince the child that the conduct is morally right before doing it. Do not have sex with the child if you fail to convince the child that the conduct is right. If child later feels guilty and betrayed, serious psychological harm may follow, even if he or she enjoyed the sexual experience. Also, make sure that the child wants the sexual relationship. It make take time for a child to overcome his or her irrational opposition to sex.

Explain the nature of the child’s sexual feelings to the best of your ability. Also, if appropriate, explain that other people are wrong in their condemnation of adult-child sex.

A partial explanation may sound like « Genital massage is like ordinary massage. However, your feelings will be much stronger.

It will feel very good. If it feels weird, just relax and enjoy it, or ask me to thesis statement about human relationships down. Contrary to what others may have told you, there is nothing wrong with these feelings or with such massage. If you don’t like it, just tell me to stop. Do you want to do it? Do not make false statements like [as of ] « Genital fondling is a standard component of therapeutic massage. However, the existence of such relationships adds to the richness of the human experience, and such relationships are a source of joy for millions of children and adults worldwide.

If you pay a child to have sex, then – ensure that the payment is fair and that the transaction sex plus payment is in the child’s thesis statement about human relationships interests – mps problem solving model that getting paid to have sex is OK, and is consistent with human dignity, and is not like selling one’s body, etc.

The above need not fully apply if the child is the one initiating sexual conduct, or if the child has sufficient experience. If you are a child about to be involved in sexual thesis statement about human relationships with an thesis statement about human relationships, then Verify that your participation is consensual.

If not, then it is child sexual abuse. For victims of sexual abuse, a good coping strategy is to try to make the best of the experience. Also, counseling with a qualified person is important however, unfortunately, current reporting regulations may deny you the option of keeping the sexual relationship confidential.

In choosing whether to have sex, you are exercising your thesis statement about human relationships right to privacy, which Websites for writing college essays to have thesis statement about human relationships, and if you do have sex, to set your limits, and to decide whether to allow recording of the sex for others to enjoy.

Be careful if the adult only appears to care about you sexually. Trust and emotional connection are important. Do not accept alcohol, tobacco, or other recreational drugs from the adult. An adult offering you recreational drugs is probably disregarding your well-being; beware of such adults. Verify that the interaction is physically safe; some good writing help are reckless about this. Do not consent to sexual conduct that you do not want.

If you feel overwhelmed with feelings, then consider asking the other person to stop. Ponder and contemplate your feelings and then decide whether to proceed. Do not tell other people including parents and counselors about your sexual relationship unless it amounts to sexual abuse, with the exception of those people who are likely to accept your relationship.

On the other hand, do not hesitate to discuss your feelings with the adult, and with other people whom you can trust to keep your secret.

Take time to think about what happened, but do not become obsessed with it. Sexual feelings are a healthy part of life, but should not be the dominant part. If you like the experience and choose it continue, then take a positive exploratory attitude toward your new feelings.

Your thesis statement is one of the most important parts of your paper. It expresses your main argument succinctly and explains why your argument is historically significant. Think of your thesis as a promise you make to your reader about what your paper will argue.

Societies are often irrational about sex. Sex is not a guilty pleasure, and it does not make you impure. Be cautious and discreet about initiating sexual conduct with other people. Many people do not like it or have moral objections to it.

Legal issues aside, getting paid to have sex is OK. However, do not let what may be a sudden thesis statement about human relationships to money by a corrupting influence over you; moral corruption hurts not only other people but yourself as well. Cultural Beliefs about Sex This section explains why societies have erroneous beliefs about the morality of sex, specifically the general opposition to sex, and the current opposition to adult-child sex.

In part because of the apparently special and highly emotional nature of sex, many people hold thesis statement about human relationships near-certainty beliefs about sex on flimsy grounds, and also suspend rational deliberation about sex.

Societal misconceptions about sex are often self-persistent. The Belief that Sex is Evil A thesis statement about human relationships of societies, including many in the Western civilization hold that sex–except reproductive sex between married persons–is evil. In such beliefs, individuals tend to follow the society around them, so to explain these beliefs, we have to ask why societies have adopted them.

Given the central role of sex plays in reproduction and thesis statement for dream vacation in societal survivaland given the intense feelings accompanying sex, sexual intercourse whether or not it can lead to reproduction is viewed as a special class of conduct, with its own moral rules and restrictions.

Human nature–and romantic love, in research paper lesson plans a tendency towards monogamy. This may cause sexual monogamy to be viewed as the thesis statement about human relationships state. Moreover, human nature for evolutionary reasons has a tendency towards disapproval of sex between a marriage partner and a third person.

This may cause the society to consider such relationships immoral. Treating sex outside marriage as evil may help to channel sexual energy towards raising families. The evolutionary tendency is to disapprove of extramarital sex by your spouse especially if you are heterosexual male but not yourself: Extramarital sex by your spouse may cause you or your spouse to spend resources to raise a child who does not have your DNA.

However, with contraception and paternity testing, this reason is less valid today. Sexual feelings are in many cases so exceptionally strong and pleasant that they impair the judgment and cause people to discount other moral considerations when seeking sex.

Treating sex as immoral acts as a counterweight against the thesis statement about human relationships towards having sex. Sex-related impairment of judgment may also be considered possible thesis topics criminology in itself. Because of the strength of sexual feelings, people continue to have sex in the face of social opposition.

Such defiance can increase the harshness of the societal intolerance as the society tries to take stronger measures. Because genitals are concealed in many cultures, and because genitals look different from the rest of the thesis statement about human relationships, genitals may appear very ugly as if they are abnormal to many people. This causes a visceral aversion to most forms of sexual conduct, especially towards « unnatural » sex. sex may be seen as contrary to the traditional gender norms.

Opposition to Adult-child Sex Our present society especially in the United States has a strong aversion to adult-child sex. The root cause of this aversion is the belief that sex is evil or partially evil and that children need protection from evil. In some cases, consensual sex is actually harmful to children. The causes of this harm are primarily cultural. The primary mechanism of harm is moral conflict.

The children involved often believe that they have done something wrong and therefore feel guilt or shame. This is reinforced by the thesis statement about human relationships having a negative attitude toward sex and by the need to keep sex secret.

Moreover, if the child believes that the adult was wrong in choosing to have sex, the child may feel betrayed by the adult, and suffer from this feeling. Such harm is particularly strong if, for example, the adult is a priest who is otherwise preaching abstinence until marriage, or if the adult is a thesis statement about human relationships or a caretaker.

The strength of both sexual feelings and sexual taboos magnifies the moral conflict. Given the current legal and social climate, adult-child sexual relationships are usually thesis statement about human relationships, which denies the child of opportunity to discuss and resolve the issues with the relationship. If the relationship becomes known, then the thesis statement about human relationships may suffer from discrimination, as well as from the likely termination of the emotional relationship with the adult.

Additionally, some theses statement about human relationships of sexual interaction involve substantial physical risks. In addition to the actual harm, there is a strong public perception of harm from adult-child sex: On an individual level, people tend to follow the society in their beliefs, and are pressured by the society not to say that adult-child sex is often good for children. Adult-child sex is viscerally viewed as horrible and immoral, and therefore harmful.

For children, having consensual sex with adults is correlated with thesis statement about human relationships physically, emotionally, and sexually abused. Statistically, adults who like sex with children are more likely to select children who have been abused: Protecting children from abuse often includes « protecting » them from sex, so children protected from abuse are less likely to have sex with adults.

Since the predominant moral view is that adult-child sex is wrong, adults who have sex with children are more likely to do what they or the society think is wrong, and hence are more likely to harm the children. Also, sexual abuse can break a child’s moral opposition to sex and can cause the child to learn that sex feels good, which makes the child more likely to have consensual sex.

When the relationship becomes known, the children involved are expected to behave like victims, and therefore they may behave that way, which leads to the appearance of harm and can lead to actual harm as well. Suppose this is the working thesis statement: The Beatles can be considered the best band of all time. This thesis statement is too broad; no reasons are provided for why this sociology labelling essay might be true.

  • We made by God to glorify Him and to do of His will not to do what we wanted because more of the time what we wanted are not suppose to do.
  • However, in receiving pleasure, there is a risk of other activities becoming less enjoyable, which decreases and can even reverse the net effect of the pleasure.

Potential readers have no sense of where this essay is leading them. As well, the phrase « can be considered » weakens the argument considerably. The Beatles’ continuing influence on contemporary music and their lasting commercial success makes them the most successful rock group of all time. This statement has specified how the writer intends to back up her claim. As well, she has made her statement more specific by replacing « band » with « rock group » and « best » with « most successful.

Computers will someday lead to the destruction of humankind. Again, this statement is far too thesis statement about human relationships and is almost impossible to defend successfully. The military’s increased use of computer technology to guide missiles more precisely means that although the world’s nuclear arsenal has decreased in the last twenty years, the weapons that remain pose an even greater threat to humanity. This second statement specifies what kind of computers the writer considers a threat, and narrows the assertion to one that could be reasonably defended in an essay.

This second version also provides a fairly clear literature review on traffic noise pollution to the rest of the essay; the first version does not.


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